Facades are Real

suicide mission

2005-04-30T21:18:00.000+08:00

down with fever this whole week ... sch ... home .. panadol .. sleep ... sch home panadol sleep ... its a vicious cycle .. furthermore this being an exam week ... god loves me ... thursday was more .. how shd i say ... a ... further display of side effects of rapid medication ... thursday morning .. woke up .. fever again .. took 2 tablets b4 goin to sch .. then after paper in the aftnoon .. still feverish ... went home took another 2 pills and slept .. then woke up .. 2 hrs later .. FORGETTING i oredi took 2 pills earlier ... took another 2 pills making total:6 pills ... evening .. after dinner ...took another 2 tablets b4 goin to slp ... den ard 2 am woken up by god knows what ... FORGOT TT I OREDI TOOK 2 PILLS TOOK ANOTHER ONE CAUSE I TOT I TOOK JUST ONE B4 I SLEPT ... after taking the pill .. turned the wrapping round in my fingers .. read something interesting .... MAXIMUM 8 TABLETS TO BE TAKEN IN A DAY, FURTHER DOSAGE ONLY DUE TO RECOMMENDATION BY PHYSICIAN .... AND MY MIND SUDDENLY ADDED THREE MORE WORD TO IT TO SUM UP MY BEWILDERMENT AT THE MATTER .... MAXIMUM 8 TABLETS TO BE TAKEN IN A DAY, FURTHER DOSAGE ONLY DUE TO RECOMMENDATION BY PHYSICIAN, PARKIST YOU DICKHEAD. and suddenly i remembered i took 9 tablets ... oh yah .... 8 tablets in a day doesnt mean as long as its monday u can gulp down 8 tablets just like tt .. 8 TABLETS OVER A PERIOD OF 24 HRS .. how did i break the record? 9 TABLETS IN 12 HRS ... I AM ON A SUICIDE MISSION .. YOU GO FAIZ .. YOU STUPID DICKHEAD ...

Mats and Minah convention: live display of studpidity

2005-04-16T22:56:00.000+08:00

was at the study centre this evening. while i was doin my fuckin amaths. two fucked up walk like they had just been freshly analed minahs came into the centre giggling2. then entered the toilet together attracting a few 'i understand why' stares frm the rest of the ppl in the centre. they cld have gone out but NOOO they had to stare at me cos im the only MALAY guy in there(im so ashamed but then being munjen or indian wld still be the same so shrugs). the following conversation has been translated from its retarded usage of the malay language.

minah:alahai(disgusting manner of exp. used by officials of regional minah convention)study here for wad go sch ah if like to study so much ...

me:if schs are open on sats guys like me wldnt have to see shits like u today

minah: wah fierce ... stab(another manner of exp. used by minah-ed retards) fierce only .... face like fuck wan to stab big ...

me:its not tt i wanna act big but its tt u sundals are really small brain small everitin small even ur supposed to be there but not there oso small

minah: wadever ahh ... (stares and eye rolls .. opens mouth to start argument)

guy next to me: can u get please go somwhere else

minah:wah this guy one more stupid extra

whole room: eh jibai! fuck off la nabei study centre make so much noise (in the distant corner 'yala bloody hell lack of anal treatment isit?')

and off the minahs went stomping like retards at theirown stupidity

debate update: we gt thru

2005-04-03T18:39:00.000+08:00

had a malay debate comp ydae ... was pretty okay .. i din cock up it was amazin ... since i broke down the day b4 cos i din know wad to sae ... so our next opp. is sji .. strong team .. shrugs ... we'll see how it goes ....nyahhh .. soo .. bday comin in ... 4 days ... hahahaha .... but my bday's always the same ....nothing happens .. seriously nothin .. hahaha .. i was brought up in a manner dat ... to my family .. bday's are nth ... just another day ... woohooo ...so 7 april's gonna be just .. another day ... haha .. orite tts all mates .. ciao ..

fuckup

2005-03-28T22:32:00.000+08:00

today was sports day heats .. 400m .. i came out last .. i dunno how it turned out this way ... my ankle snapped at the 4th bend ..as soon as i felt the joint pressured .. i knew it was over .. but i was looking back .. there was something i did wrong besides my ankle shittin on me ...even if the ankle hadnt snapped i wld have gotten 4th or 5th .. there was no way i cld get in the top 3 ... there was sumthin i did wrong ... pacing or whathefuck ... wadever it is .. i think the injury's gonna stop me frm taking part in any other event ... im too scared that it will snap again (like today when i thought everything was okay) ... nyahh .. wads done is done .. to the other participants .. congrats ... oh yah forgot to add .. to the other fucked up sec 3s whu to the motherfucking shit cant even run yet still wanna talk so much ... u noe where to find me .. i can take u shits down anytime .. i need only half my balls fer the job .. no use wasting both u fucking retards ....

extremo stupido

2005-03-21T21:58:00.000+08:00

hols are over .. still haven really finished my work ... but i feel more peace this start of the holidays .... solo pk has been doin wonders fer me ... feels gd ... shuffling feets, switching arms, broken air, midflight sensation .. its all gd ... things in my life been changin ... so have others ... happy that some of my acquaintances are beginning to find solace in some things .. fer me ... solace .. is pk and my pen ....

ydae

2005-03-18T11:14:00.000+08:00

ydae seemed alright .. until ... i went to play daidi at the back of lot 1 .. hahaha ... something happened .. shall not say what .... then after that went to training .... somehow ... the training felt better .. guess its gd to know certain steps like second nature .. cos u dun feel stressed ... aniwae .. homework's not done .. im shitting my pants .. o lvl this yr ... discipline u fucking dickhead ...

layout update

2005-03-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

well my first honest to god start frm scratch layout ... exccept fer the backgrd .. propery of angela .. i think i somehow feel satisfied but not that satisfied yet ... well whatever .. yeah added a new section .. ink frm my fingers .. goin to have to ask asyraf for that 'right click disabler code' .... so till then enjoy

my ass.

2005-03-01T22:31:00.000+08:00

ive gt shitloads of injuries now .. 400 m selection .. ass cramp up on me .. felt very funny .. walked like an anal sex victim the whole way to gym ... frm all the dips ive done so far ... my upper back's feeling like it can tear anytime ... finally .. injured my lower back muscle .. again .. im so gonna be the future chris reeves man ...

shit my pants and hope to die.

2005-02-24T21:26:00.000+08:00

schools' finally getting the better of me ...wadever's left ... no lifer is my future prospect .. saddening and pathetic .. but i vow to seek resolve in other things such as pk .. yet to get my kong down ... shrugs .. ill train but at the rate im goin wif tests exam hw and shit .. i dunoo when ill ever get done wif anithin .. cross my ehart and hope to die .. maybe theres something gd in all this .. but again .. there never is .. haha ...i intend to drill my basics to rock solid .... my lazy monkey reverse .. and switch ... so that when i do it .. i dun think .. ill just move ... wif instinct ..

ah yes i miss the same lot of ppl still but maybe ill get to see them .. someday somehow .. chicken dilly shit ... really hope so ...been failing my amaths like shit ... its scary .. shows how much i dunno .. i miss my pen and my keyboard .. the sweat and tears dat go into this shit ... but gotta buy a new one .. sad ...

heloo again

2005-02-10T21:46:00.000+08:00

haha ive left this blog dead fer quite some time ... today .. was a very eventful day .. i was reminded of how much fun i had during the holidays wif mani ppl .. traceurs and such .. went fer the jam .. was gr8 .. realised how much i missed freerunning wif other traceurs .. its sad tho that i wun see the other traceurs quite often anymore .. dudes like hyder .. zeek .. frinch .. yellow shoes .. torched .. angela and such .. haiz ... miss the life man ... aniwae was a cool dae .. haha had some funny bails too .. all in all .. wish there was more .. but this wld suffice ...

and parkist blogs again.

2005-01-30T22:14:00.000+08:00

mojojojo .. ooga shaga ooga shaga ...

ok back to where i was .. im feeling ok now since the last high impact rendezvous i had with this blog but now .. i dunno .. feels .. different .. dunno if its fer .. gd or bad . but whu gives a shit ... ah im back to writing things down .. penning my thoughts into written expressions of abstract meaning ... i think its ok .. but then again .. im writing things down ... it used to mean that my mind was fucked up .. i dunno what in means now .. maybe im nt ok after all .. haha .. ciao mates .. im nuts ..

I’ve come to fall.
I tried to reach for you.
When all i saw.
were all my tears for you.
what's insincere

~parkist~

ink from my fingers(as a close friend used to say)

2005-01-23T22:10:00.000+08:00

Did u know?
How much I missed
Those lonely eyes

Lonely tears
As they passed by
And let me save them
For a while

The tears risked falling,
When I told you,
That I loved you…

The,
Second time around,
Though u said
That it was dumb
I sat right through it till the end

Until I know
How things went wrong
Answers to the lonely stares

As I stared broken,
In disguise
Hope bent down
As faiths collide

Tempting greatly, hold me down
Rest my case as errors bound
Root me firmly to the air
It was great
While you were there
Now look at what
This has become …………

powerrrrr... haha...

2005-01-16T20:36:00.000+08:00

just finished watching soccer .. singapore won .. i hafta say .. this generation of the lions are very2 different frm their predecessors ... the teamwork is unbelievable ... aite first things first .. gotta say happy bdae to my mate .. amireaux-urban spidey ... haf a gr8 yr ahead ... especially wif o's aite .. ah back to where i was wif tis post .. i think its time i finally moved on frm the past ... i think im killing myself by letting it eat me up .. its certainly not rite .. i think im letting down quite a number of ppl too .. i think that starting anew wld be best fer me .. i just wanna tell her that .. i loved her ... and i respect her decision wadever it was these past 8 mths ... haf peace and .. love life ...

kiss me...
and fade away,
wad's to come now,
the story's closing

the wind is cold....
the restless's dreary..
while ive caught hold,
of midnight's story

now lay me rested ...
piece me vaguely
leave my soul free ..
and fade ...
away...

~parkist~

rigger.

2005-01-06T22:32:00.000+08:00

its been a long time since i actually post anything sensible in my own blog r be it illogical .. or totally .. crap .. fine by me whatever it is. Sch has started .. well evritin's as it used to be .. the normal ppl in my life .. frens, foes, bitches, pricks .. evritin .. the new year begun on a brutal note for me. it is a blow to really think about things and realise that not everything around u is right or wrong or in the middle and that it will change or nv change. u may think im utterin crap fer fuck and mentionin opposites of opposites. fine by me .. its my brain nt ur ass .. ive nv been myself ... nv had a chance to be .. cos everytime i be .. i get blown off or i blow off .. mixing ard works fer ur social skills .. especially in real life where lying is of utmost importance to survive .. no dun give me bullshit bout bein urself .. but then i start thinkin maybe i shd .. i keep gettin pissed off at bitches and pricks for always thinking they are right or they are wrong .. until i realise .. im one of them .. its kind of stupid when i think about it but well i dunno .. if i knew i wouldnt be posting rite now .. i think i just need some time off or sumthin .. or wait for me to cool down .. and shut my ass up fer a minute .. stop helping ppl .. and help myself ..

rigged my heart now
u tear right through me
caving in slowly
death will heal me
my shell is breaking
i find me falling
further down further
im breaking away ...
-ParkisT-

(lyrics .. to be continued ..)

today

2004-12-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

today was crazy ... kept feelin tired and fell asleep fer a long time and den wake up feelin shittier than usual so i decided to go out .. disappointed tt i cldnt find beannies .. instead bought a long sleeve shirt to offset my tee shirt .. salesgirl was sweet tho .. lol .. hahahaha .. i sound like a perv .. but the salesguy was GAY man fuck faggot ... hahahaha ... i listened back to the old final fantasy 8 soundtrack and found the music to be very2 powerful in nature and its gt this attention grabbing tone and rhythm ...

Liberi Fatali

Excitate vow e somno, liberi mei.
Cunae non sunt.
Excitate vow e somno, liberi fatali.
Somnus non eat.
Wake up from your dream, my children.
There is no cradle.
Wake up from your dreams, fated children.
The dream is not going.

Surgite.
Invenite hortum veritatis.
Arise.
Discover the truth of the Garden.

Ardente veritate
Urite mala mundi.
Ardente veritate
Incendite tenebras mundi.
Burn with truth
Scorch the world of evil.
Burn with truth
Set fire to the world of darkeness.

Valete, liberi,
Diebus fatalibus.
Goodbye, children,
From the days of destiny.

p.s. onli recite the latin versions .. the eng one is just fer translation

test 2

2004-12-21T01:33:00.000+08:00

testing again

test

2004-12-20T23:47:00.000+08:00

testing

YES BABY!!! I DID IT!! OOGA SHAGA OOGA SHAGA!!

2004-12-20T23:35:00.000+08:00

I modified my template!!!! yeah baby!!! woohoo!!!! Afta hrs and hrs of pulling my hair out .. i discovereed a solution to the template's illness .. i jsut had to take the source frm the real page and not the editing page in blogger ... hahaha i feel like a fool!! ... so css editing time while i closed msn windows as they popped up one by one (sorry angel)=) anf i finally did it .. i haf to thank the guy at digital blasphemy tho for his beautiful work of art which is my proud background now .. haven bloogged fer a long time (like tts weird) but waddahell past few daes were boring went to chalet and nearly died cos there wad nth to do or see .. nt even a single babe ... kakakaka .. but the guy beside my chalet .. sialla .. full on drinking session sia .. 8 r old boy oso drinking heineken .. old apek drink YOMEISHU .. dun play play ... hahahahaha my aunt go outside scold them fer being noisy sia .. i was like wtf .. hehe ... then at midnight .. go watch movie ... cos its like the only time i can go out late .. cos no parents .. hahaha .... but all in all ok ... i was lucky when i wake up jellyfish .. EHERM .. SLEEPIN .. kakaka .. tried a few front somers and cleared 2 or 3 clean ones ... nt happy tho .. haiz ... but to top it off ... hafta thanks angel fer the power help she did wif my blog fixing my links and all ...thanks chicken ass .. im so proud of my temp ... dats all mates ciao ....

bleddy hell

2004-12-17T23:02:00.000+08:00

today woke up to a fresh yet very very eventful day .... woke up turned on the com at 0645 and read the blablabla thread at UF ... den i closed it den i opened it again and thought carefully to myself why idiots roam the earth and i realised one main thing ... they are there to ensure u tt there are alwaes ALWAES ppl much more crazy and stupid than u already thought there cld be .. not meant fer anyone in particular .. if some ppl do take it personally then im sorry .. URE BLIND ... but gt over tt and realised hw retarded angel was .. kekeke ... jokin ... then went to friday prayers ... and fuckin hell the asshole next to me farted and he thinks my nose is blocked or sumthin .. shd haf whacked his ass upside down and made his shit go backwards (angel's style) .. afta tt went home to rest before goin to the barber ... helped my dad wif fixing the wire casing then he asked me go buy nail ... so i decided to cut my hair as well .... hahaha went to qb to give them one last chance to prove they are worth 10 bucks ... but ... again .. they disappoint .. the lady took the whole load of hair off the back of my head .... haiz ... disappointed .. but all in all at least it wasnt so bad ... went back to havin the same hairstyle ive had fer yrs .. im getting bored wif it .. and i think others will too or they shd be bored wif it a long time ago ... THEN at home the big friday night show started .. had a big argument wif my mom until my dad shut the both of us up .. but i did apologise and guessed i was partly at fault ... :) then spent the whole night slacking and realised ebay is quite a pretty gd site ... nt really all walk no talk .. RESPECT man EBAY .. hahahahaha ... yeah so tts all ... ciao m8s ...

it will NV change

2004-12-07T01:38:00.000+08:00

Today was a boring day went to ikea to get a new clothes rack ... been lookin at one particular rack .. thought it was cool and different .. haha aniwae ...soon as i gt home went to my rm and gt to slp ... i guess things nv change ...my life's still the same .. i thought i cld 4get but nah ... u can nva 4get wad was so dear and close to u ... if u do forget ... i guess its the end of the road .. tts when u realise its too late .. ure just losin urself .. but if forgetting brings dismay .. then nt forgetting brings pain ... u talk to ppl and u realise ure nt alone ... but is dat supposed to bring joy? dun think so ... i guess the quicksand theory lives on ... i thought i was over and done with fucking myself .. guess nt .. cos im still writing ...

weee

2004-11-28T22:07:00.000+08:00

today went fer the jam at sembawang .. pretty happy tt a LOT of traceurs came down .. shows tt pk is nt abt convenience .. lol met a few new traceurs like pkrist, phobya, missyhid and jazz .. did i miss neone? kakakaka ... ah aniwae it was fun but the mood went down soon as i think the rain swallowed all of the spirit to pk ... i think i finally nail my one handed vaults still trying kong and speed over a table .. dun get them enuf .. hahaha ... then went to esplanade .. and oso happy cos i cld do my wallhops as the walls were gd fer my shoes .. then i went home and so i am ...

shitto

2004-11-26T01:36:00.000+08:00

today went to town to recce place fer the 4 dec massive PK jam .. it was rainin dogs and pussies ... nt gd nt gd at all ... den finally decide to go to wisam carpark to pk afta a lot of time spent countin raindrops ... scruf bailed .. again .. kekeke ... den we went to esplanade and attempted a few wallhops pretty satisfied dat i cld do sumthin there .. hehe .. den the bad part came when in the mrt long journey .. started thikin bout her .. den at the most disgusting of timings ..a gerl sat next to me .. and made me mroe fucked up .. she looked the same sounded the same as HER .. just wanted to get out quick to end my misery .. lucky she gt off first ..

haiz ..

2004-11-25T01:12:00.000+08:00

went raya visiting today .. aiyooo .. dunno wad to sae la ... its like frm last yr apologise here there still the same habits and behavior come out just dun understand ppl ... ah im gonna drill my reverse, speed and lazy vaults... just have to perfect them .. eliminate fear altogether..

ZoneAlarm

2004-11-23T19:23:00.000+08:00

Zonealarm is a gr8 soft guys .. doin a pretty gd job of protecting my com .. so yeah .. hope u guys try it .. kaka can even encrypt ur messages ..

ahh

2004-11-23T13:34:00.000+08:00

ahh probs are real .. just wished this cld be fixed where evritin wld go back to where it was ... cos i just haven had a chance to exp anything wif u guys .. im still new .. meets? nv attended ... only once or twice .. but during my first meet it was fun to know the senior traceurs ... they dun haf to leave ... no one has ... im fucked ...

8 mths and countin

2004-11-23T03:09:00.000+08:00

8 mths since i last knew her and 8 mths i wither ....

My first BLOG

2004-11-23T03:05:00.000+08:00

Try to maintain:P